And the rollercoaster continues

[klm]

I think the getting rid of the Batman was a HUGE thing!

I thought so too, that is why I think I need to acknowledge it. Maybe it will show him that there ARE things he can do to help the situation. It has bothered me for a long time but I never said anything because it always makes him mad and then there is a fight. I need to be able to say things to him about my feelings and it not start a fight.

I have said things to him and felt like he totally didn't respect me or care and then he would do exactly what I asked.

When he shuts down like that I take it as he doesn't care, which he told me is not the case. I have to stop reading so much into things.

I think your H is making some positive steps. However...I am not sure if they are big enough and positive enough for you to want to stay in this marriage.

I am not sure either, but they are big enough to make me want to give it some more time.

It gives them a sense of control to fight it briefly, then be the kind/generous one and grant you your request.

I think you are right, I will have to remember this.

The real question is: How do you play on this to get them to give in right away w/ less fight?

I think it is all in my delivery. If I am mad he is going to get mad, so I have to stop letting things fester until they get to the point where I am mad.