There and Back, up and walking #1

[SallyM]

thanks all! you guys are giving me waaaaayyyy too much credit, btw. I'm just riding wakes here. and, to mix metaphors, just trying to keep my own little train chugging along.

Here's the thing. It isn't my business what happened with ow. most likely I will never know anyway. my motivations for wanting to know are because I'm just nosey as all get out and would love to know, but at this point, I just don't think its my business. that is his life, not mine, not ours (at this point). and honestly if we do reconcile, I want ow out of my life and out of my relationship.

am I offbase to feel that way?

maybe I'll change how I feel down the road, who knows. but for now, that is where I am.

I also do NOT think he is doing this to show me something, or for us. this is NOT about me. this is NOT about us. this is about HIM. all him. all his own confusion. all his own internal struggle (unless it is just a fight with ow and he's showing her he doesn't need her, blah blah blah).

in the end, he could end up alone by choice...no ow, no me. or maybe there is a new chica in the wings. at this point, the only thing I know is that something is making him miserable, he hasn't been happy for a long time, and he is confused. that's it. that's what I know.

and I know that I will be okay no matter what.

and I know that my therapist is going to need to buckle her seatbelt for today's session.