NikB #26 (tentatively moving to Piecing, again)

[NikB]

ST, YoYo, SD - thanks!!

Thanks all!

I just realized I forgot to mention a few things that I think are really important.

Last Thursday night:
One of my new (female) friends sent out an email Weds. night saying basically "we girlies need to get together, been too long!" So we planned a happy hour for Thursday night at a restaurant/bar near my house. It's a good central location for a lot of us. So.. I went.. H called while I was on my way there and said his sister wanted to go out downtown (20 min. or so away) for drinks with a guy-friend of his that she's trying to date, and did I want to go? I said cool but I had other plans, have fun. He asked a bit about where I was going, and a few minutes later called back and said "Where are you again?" I repeated the restaurant and he said "Can I come have a beer too?" WOAH! I said "Umm sure but it's all girls, kinda girls night out.. but you can be the popular guy at the table of girls if ya want."

H canceled his plans with his sis, and came by. Two of the ladies he met at that wine/cheese thing I had at my house, the others he hadn't met. At first he seemed uncomfortable but he was OK after a bit. He acted genuinely happy to see the two ladies again, and he remembered details that *I* barely remembered about them which was cool (i.e. one of them was going on a solo trip to Paris and she had bought a new digital camera that she was learning to use at the party, he remembered all of that). I was a bit aloof and made him buy his own drinks at the bar, but otherwise tried to include him in the convo. Funny note is he kept trying to start quiet convos about his racing and I would acknowledge him but still talk to/with my friends instead of focusing on him.

I really found myself wondering - was he checking up on me? Or.. one problem in our "old" M is that I had friends and he had friends. When he didn't really feel comfortable with my friends, I slowly lost touh, and it became "our" friends were "his" friends and I never saw "my" friends anymore.
Was he working on that?

Who knows... but he thanked me a few times and said he hoped he didn't "intrude" on the time with my friends. I said not at all, they were glad he came (which they were), and he seemed genuinely happy. He said he felt bad when he left to wash his car.

Friday night:

Another friend and I planned to go to this local food/wine tasting thing. I admit I've been playing a game a bit. H "plans" stuff without telling me or assumes I'm available every night. I've talked to him about it before so this isn't out of nowhere... but I'm somewhat making it a point to plan at least one "meetup" a week, and some stuff on "typical" date nights. I don't lie and I tell him ahead of time, but I don't go into detail unless he either 1. asks, or 2. tells me detail about his plans.

It wasn't a LONG time plan but my friend and I planned it from Tues or so on.. we were busy Friday! H called me at work on Friday at noon and said "We're having dinner with my Dad and his GF." I said "Um.. sorry, already have tix for [event] with [friend.] Have fun though and say hi to everyone!" He was really taken aback a bit and said "Well that's why [Dad] was bringing [girlfriend], so you could visit." I said "I know that sucks, I'd love to catch up with them both! But I have plans, please tell them "hi and I'm sorry to miss them."

H asked a bit about my/our plans and wanted a LOT more detail than I gave.

He was home when I left and made it a point to talk to my friend, who drove. He was home before me.. and made it a point to talk about how much they missed me at dinner and how he told them my "advice" on what to order and they all loved it. Wow. I told him some of the details of the evening and I don't think he's bothered by it at all, but defintely thinking.

At the wedding on Sat his Dad's GF actually mentioned it to me - "I so missed you on Friday but I think that was SO GREAT - you need to be a challenge, make him work for you!" And said "He's so appreciative of you - kept talking about how smart you are, how you help him..." good stuff.

That's been a thing lately, he has been telling me I'm "so smart" and "I wish I was as smart as you." Kinda makes me sad but... I used to get almost defensive, now I just thank him, and tell him ways I think that HE is very smart. (i.e. he can rebuild an engine... I can write a thesis about it but NO wAY could I actually do it ).

Tonight was really good, again.. had dinner w/my Mom and H was super busy so I brought him home restaurant food and heated it up. He was all happy and said "I probably deserve a can of chili, thanks for bringing me a steak, that's above and beyond!"

I know I need to now BACK OFF and be "chase-able" but man it's weird.. haven't done this in years, but it WORKS for us.