Hey, Kerry. I was posting my update while you were writing, so I didn't see it.
Well, I've thought that one through and if that does come to pass, I won't let W back into my good graces very easily. We'll need to be apart and "date" again before I can make any judgments on our future - or if there is going to be one.
She'd also have to agree to joint and individual counselling and do something about her drinking. I've suffered a lot through this, so I won't be letting her destroy me again. Once is enough. I'm different and stronger. I know that I love her and want her to be w/ me and us to be a family again, but I am also 100% convinced that I don't NEED her to be happy.
I'm different. I'm better. I've grown. Any reunion w/ W will be on terms I'm comfortable with or there won't be one at all. I miss her and love her still, but I can't allow myself to be destroyed again. What message would that send to my D?
So, I do have the guard up and I'm being very careful. If the fall happens in the near future, I think I'll be around for her to try again w/ me. If it takes longer, I'm pretty confident I'll be elsewhere.
