I feel sad reading about all the emotional upset and want to shower you with hugs, love.. and.. and.. (trying to think of a good one)... and second helping of banana and sausage casserole! It has to taste better than my first culinary creation... peanutbutter, jelly and mayonnaise sandwich.
Give yourself space. You can't fix him (why did I think vasectomy?) but you can take time to love yourself and relish the joy of your incredible children.