Dodo.... hommes.... do I detect an edge toward our exes in your reply?
Good point about freely making vows and freeling breaking them. In retrospect, I can agree that it was not my place to change my ex or make her do this or that. At the time, the pain-motivated desparation took over and it was all I could see to do.
Another thing I also believe was a factor was some of the church teaching I had that said I could change anything by faith. I believed that then. I certainly do not now. The church cultural teaching I was conditioned by stated this so firmly.... even in the face of total evidence to the contrary.
Yet the Bible teaches that "hope deferred makes the heart sick". Amen to that Brother! Never mind sick, it makes the heart die and want to die. Then when I didnt get what I was standing in faith for.... the teachings I learned told me I was inadequate in my faith and worth. No wonder picking up drugs was so simple by that stage.
Man... I was standing and standing and standing for the healing of my marriage... and it only got worse! When all of those expecattions did not materialize... I snapped. Not only did I lost my wife, but she starts running around with a friend of mine.... entertaining him in the house we built together for our kids... limits my access to the kids (this was pre-drugs btw)... then ends up marrying him. I think it would be more wierd if someone didnt snap over something like that. Wars have been fought between nations over lesser circumstances.
However.... I think I have proven to myself if nobody else... that these experiences can be endured and overcome. Which brings me full-circle to my original point.... I endured and overcame mainly with the help of fellowships like these message boards and my fellowship in AA. My church experience just left me feeling like sh!t. yet I am sure this is what neither God nor most Christians intended. It just seems to have gone there.
