Dodo, Brother.... ya ditton on feeling confident I tried everything. Now, years later, there is much comfort knowing that I did indeed try everything... including the 180 thing.
I gave my ex (STBX at the time) a copy of Dr. Phil's web page where he talks about earning your way out and trying everything and turning every stone. She handed me back a brochure on collaborative divorce and said that she would read my information if I would read hers. It was very hurtful.
But whatever. I wish I could tell more newcomers to circle the wagons early so they arent hurt and disappointed. 180s can happen and DBing works, I just question how often.
I feel absolutely certain there was no changing my ex's mind.
So onward and upward. Life is unfolding amazingly well and can use the marriage saving stuff in a more pre-emptive way in my new sitch.
Thanks for the lively dialogues.
Chaz
Chaz,
That really sucks..... Your exW truly showed her lack of character there..... Not only that, she demonstrated a lack of basic human compassion..... I think you are better off without a woman like her......
As for "changing" your exW's mind, it was NOT your place.... She freely took her wedding vows.... She should have had the balls to tell you there were problems AND work through the issues..... She NEEDED to be a grown up....
As for DBing working.... How do you define "working?" If your spouse is out f#c%ing around and comes back...... That is NOT success to me.... You "won" a cheating spouse... No REAL prize to me...... I would rather shuffle the deck and choose a new mate....
It is great you are in a much better place.... God has shown both of us how He can rebuild our lives better than ever.....
Take Care,
NMD
Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 05/13/0801:36 AM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
