Not sure I see it as holding on in my case anyway. He never held on to his children, no contact, clothes can be replaced maybe he wasn't sentimental over posessions.Maybe they reminded him of his old life and didn't fit in with the new one. I wanted to believe he left them because he didn,t want to cut off his lifeline completely,thats why I left the d/gown on the door for years 'til my Dr told me to take it down it wasn,t helping me move on. When I moved I cleared out all his clothes-well most of them. When I heard he had remarried I threw out even more stuff.
Today I talked to a lady who recently lost her H after 20yr m, she was wife 2. Wife 1 came to visit when he was dying. Wife 2 said her h loved cars and they often joked that he traded in the old banger for a newer model(her)and that he had never wanted any contact with his old life or wife but she(wife 1) never gave up and contacted him about the kids(they had been m for 27yrs) when he left her.She seemed quite together and not v emotional about his death but said wife 1 had attended the funeral. I was gobsmacked and felt wife 1 was probably more upset than her. I quickly ended the convo and left but it certainly has been running thr my mind all night.
Sorry for v long post.
The dressing gown? well I still have it but not on display. Its a breavement thing.
My H was classic MLC man, but he never looked back and I am afraid those who leave after 30/40 years together rarely ever do. Those who had troubled marriages before MLC hits seem to have more return but often(not always) to more troubled years before leaving again. Maybe had I known about DB way back in the beginning things might have been different but hindsight is wonderful.
