The best time of my life 2

[Treese]

Gosh, I don't want to give up but he I don't see that glimmer of hope....his actions say otherwise and he tells me he can't smile at me or anything because I'll think there's hope...I always have hope..I don't think it's MLC but I know we treat it the same...he doesn't spend, take money out....does see the kids but when he wants...hasn't taken them for extended periods though...would interfere with his new life....He does have all new friends because his old ones are ours and they would not approve of his actions even though he "doesn't care" what other people think....He says this is about our relationship and it's no one else's business...of course it isn't because if they knew the whole truth he would really be embarrassed....at least that is what I think....he does still sometimes refer to things such as, "our old neighbors", our floors, etc...and I keep saying "our bed, our bedroom", "Us..We.."..I know he wants me to let go but I don't want to...

and he's really not mean to me just self centered....sometimes cruel in that he doesn't act like I exist sometimes....

what's up with not saying goodbye when he leaves?? Can't he? He'll just say, ok, I'm going.....or something along those lines..He's afraid of me....freaks me out...the uncomfortable thing he's talking about I understand because I feel it too sometimes but for different reasons...I want to touch him....I think he's afraid I will ....but I won't cause I can't handle the rejection....