I understand what you're telling me, and I agree with it all. Right now though, I'm just feeling like this whole sitch is totally hopeless (and I'm usually saying that in every sitch, there is always hope! It's there, you just have to open your eyes and look for it.). I'm in such a bad mindset, and I'm trying to find my way out. It's so freakin' hard.
Giving H a taste of his own medicine works but then it doesn't. Sometimes behaving on his level will get him to see where he is acting inappropriately, too. But it also paints a VERY ugly picture of me in his head, and it makes me miserable to think that this might be the only way I can get through to him, because talking sure doesn't help!
Even AOS (one of his LLs) doesn't help. I had dirty laundry sorted out on our bedroom floor yesterday, he saw his clothes in with mine and the boys and said, "Don't do my laundry. I don't want you to." I said why not, it needs to be done. He said he appreciated it but no, he would do it himself. Then he dug his dirty clothes out from the rest and threw them in his own, seperate pile on his closet floor. WTF?!
He doesn't seem to want WOA either! His primary LL. He'll ask me if I see a difference in him as far as weight loss, I'll say yes, he's doing great, then he'll immediately get negative and say things like, "No I don't!", "God, I hate looking like this!", or "Whatever.".
I feel like I'm being set up to fail. I never know what's expected of me and what's not.
I better not forget to stock up on Gatorade because if I do, then that means I don't care....but I'd better not do his laundry......because why??? I don't know. I don't get it! I've done it for him before, and he never had a problem with it then. He would always say thank you.
*Sigh* You're right, I should've just thanked him for the candy. My only poor excuse was that I was angry the day started off the way that it had, he lied about it being from the kids when it wasn't (he was trying to guilt trip me), and he refused my act of kindness (doing his laundry). That was almost like a slap in the face - I was trying to do something nice for him, but he wouldn't accept it - and I suppose this is how it must have felt for him, too.
I let my anger and frustration get the better of me, and I was wrong.
I just feel like no matter how many times he apologizes, or when I apologize, it's seen as too little, too late on both sides, and I'm getting tired of having to always be the understanding one. The one who knows what needs to happen but won't do it because I'm not seeing anything in return when I do try.
WHY do I even want to try when he won't give me the time of day?
I'm just frustrated and mad.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
