emotionally sep. but living together

[CBK]

DBD -

Hey, thanks for checking up on me. As you know, we are in the same boat, but my WAW has had a PA, that even adds to it. In fact, my IC said think about what has happened:
1) Your W asks for a seperation
2) You want to work on the M
3) You find out W is having an A
4) You still want to work on M
5) You live under the same roof (for us, in different rooms)

He said this is a recipe for emotional disaster. And I have been living that for the past 2 months now. My biggest realizations is that over the past 2 months, all's I have done is push W further away from me by the constant hovering, crying, emotions, etc. These are not characteristics of a strong person that your W would want a R with. As my posters keep telling me, man up - I didn't understand this at first - but am starting to. It is okay to be emotional, just do it when you are alone. From what they tell me, as we learn to detach (another foreign word to me), these times will get further and further between. This weekend was better for me, I am hopeful this week will be a good one. As for detaching, that has by far been the most difficult thing to do, as well as GALing because we have constant reminders right under our roof. But as Cat says, this is big advantage to us. And the fact that your W still sleeps with you and kisses you in the AM and PM, man, that would be heaven. So I would thank God for what you have now, and start on that path of personal renewal. Another big revelation for me was when I said "I need to find time for myself, not give W space, but time for me" You are the most important person right now and need to get strong emotionally and physically. Easy for me to say, and you know my sitch, not easy to do. As they all tell us, this will not happen over night, it won't be easy and it still may end up in S or D, but the main thing is that you will be okay no matter what.

DBD, we are alike, we love our WAW's completely and are willing to go the extra mile to do this - just remember that actions speak louder than words (or cries). You and I need to be strong, need to step up to the plate and become attractive again to our W's. You can do this, I can do this. We need to keep pulling together. We know some days are pure hell, as are some weeks, but remember that you have baby steps to work toward.

Keep the faith my friend.

CBK