Michelle, I totally understand growing apart due to the distance. Especailly when the distance is due to a deployment. I am glad you two had a good interaction last night. I am sure he does feel guilty and doesn't really know how to act around you yet.
Kudos to you for not saying anything about seeing him talking to OW....not sure I could have done that.
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I think if he was sure he would be happy again, he'd be much less hesitant.
I think that is why this is such a long journey...it takes a long time to feel comfortable again.