I think I just figured something out. Perhaps you need someone to "yell" at you for you to get angry enough to do something. I think I've noticed a pattern--you get a couple of 2x4's from some of the posters here, you get angry, and then straighten up, fly right, and vow that you are going to change to prove them wrong.
Please don't get defensive--I'm just trying to help you. Dar, you need to learn to give yourself your own 2x4. You need to become self-motivated instead of relying on others to do it for you. Have you made any progress on finding a T? I think it would really help you understand yourself and why you are so self-defeating.
