And the rollercoaster continues

[klm]

Thanks everyone for stopping by!! I just wrote a LONG post and the internet ate it ...so I guess I will try this again. I did talk to H last night, but I will get into that in a minute.

I think there is a fundamental problem with men who have As trying to repair their R later. First, men don't normally like to talk. Second, they like to fix things.

I think you are right once again Michelle. Although the not liking to talk about it part is a new trait in my H. He used to want to talk everything to death. Drove me crazy. ...Now it seems the roles have changed. He did say last night just to tell him how to "fix it". He wasn't sincere when he said it, but when he did, I thought about what you wrote. He just wants it over. He doesn't want to talk about it, he just wants it forgotten.

.....and reminded me of the way that men support each other- by downplaying problems and making out like they're no big deal, whereas what we would do (girls) is to show support and sympathy. Could H have been doing that?

Thanks for stopping by One Day! It could be that is what he was doing. Or he just didn't know what to say. He didn't want me upset and so maybe he was trying to be strong for me.

Thanks Stubborn, I'll stop by your thread too. I am over wanting to call OW. She wouldn't talk to me anyway and I would just get more upset. I don't want her to know she is getting to me. I just wonder what she planned on doing. She told H she wants to come here because she is "worried we are getting back together" So does that mean that they are still together? What was she going to do? Move here? Confront me? What does she care what kind of R he is having? He is 1000 miles away from her!

Last night H did say "I just moved away from her, does that not show you that I don't care anything about her??" I don't think he cares about her, but he is getting something out of that R or he wouldn't still be talking to her. He also said "I couldn't live with her, she is CRAZY and a f'n psycho!" Oh, by the way he has called me crazy and psycho too.....projecting anyone?

With all of the drama in my life, I have been negelecting others. Sorry!

No worries Sara, I feel like I am doing the same thing right now. I just don't feel like much help to anyone.

You have worked so hard and tried everything btu in the end it takes two, doesn't it?

I agree. I will put up with a lot, but I will not let him take advantage of me or treat me badly. He has to put forth some effort too.

Good luck in whatever you decide...do you already have a lawyer?

Thank you. Yes I do have a lawyer. I don't think things would be that complicated since we have already divided things. The biggest issue is the car that has both our names on it. He can't get a loan in his name only so it would have to be sold.

Ok, that is enough for now. I will come back and post about our convo last night in a few minutes.