I know I've read of mean and distant coming out of it, but I couldn't tell you who off the top of my head. If you read threads by yellow rose, bnd and imlin it might give you some insight into their situations.
Hi kiki- Your H's dad had a MLC and came out of it? I wonder if genetics can play a role in any of this. IMO, if your H's father pulled out of it there would be a greater likelihood that your H would...either because of genetics or possibly learned behavior.
All of this does make you wonder...hopefully you are just using your curiousity to gain understanding...not that we will ever fully understand unless we have an MLC ourselves.
I am glad you are doing well. Do you go back to court this month or next?
Yes, H's father had a MLC. He stil lived with his mom and h and his sis. Back then herefused to leave the home. H's mom had to go back to work. She said they wwent on vacations by themselves.
She borrowed money from her mom to live off of. The kids(my H) said that he was so mean. His sister would cry when he would come home.
He was very mean to them.
H didn't sleep with his wife for over two years. And someone from his police dept. called her one day and told her he was having an affair.
She was ready for him to leave.
She said one Christmas morning he woke up and said next year will be different.
But it took him years.
I always thought H was similar now.
i just want to know info . Not to lve by just try to understand better. I am sed to H now.
June 24 is supposably our court date. We will see.
kikifree - I have heard of some of them snapping out of it, rather than coming out of it gradually. But most of them have to work their way through it slowly, and it is slow.
I think [very much MO] that many of them cannot cope with coming in too close. Distance is how some cope best. Interesting your FIL had a MLC - my h's father was a mean sob. Sorry but that is the truth. Maybe a permanent MLC?? Now there is a thought!
I very much relate to wanting to understand about this MLC stuff. It is so devastating, and seems to have been so little studied in other than an anecdotal way. I know there are people who doubt it, but the repeated stories of a loving spouse suddenly deciding they no longer love their spouse and family, and proceeding to act in a most self destructive way suggests that someting is going on here!
I have gotten a little obsessed at times with trying to figure out what is going on, but in general I believe I am happier for greater knowledge. I interpret my husbands behaviour more dispassionately, and in some ways am less hurt by it.
Hi kiki- Hope you had a nice Mother's Day. That is nice that your H text messaged you.
I used to be waiting for my H to have an epiphany but reality has sunk in for me that it isn't going to happen in my sitch. I am no expert but I agree with angelica...some may snap out of it but most gradually come around.
I somehow think that genetics could be a factor for MLC. My H's parents divorced shortly after my H and his sister left for college (my H dropped the bomb when his D left for college). My H's mom had an OM but I am wondering if maybe his dad was depressed. Anyway, his mom married the OM and then his dad had a GF...when both the OM and GF passed away, my H's parents got back together and were together until his dad passed away...his mom died a year later. Both of my H's parents died before I met him but it sure sounds like someone had a MLC. My mother had a MLC too...so mine may be coming.
I find that having information about MLC help because it does help me confirm that what my H is going through isn't all about me.
