Keep on working on yourself. I highly recommend Elizabeth Lesser's book Broken Open. It's a profoundly moving story/essay about using life's trials to lead us to a deeper consciousness of ourselves. She's obviously not the first to say this, but her words are powerful. I loved how she urges us to ask not whether we want to stay married, but to ask instead what lessons do our souls want to learn? That will help us decide whether to try to work it out with our spouses or move on. She then goes on to explore how at these moments of crisis we can shut down, withdraw, and blame the world, or we can look deeply into ourselves and come through the fire as more complete people. The focus needs to be on ourselves, not trying to figure out the spouse.
