Cake eating or progress?

[Trixi]

And before, it was specifically "Not active".
That's not the same as "hasnt checked it for a while. they are two different actions on his part.

He made a concious decision in the very recent past, "I'm going to make this 'active', so that women who are looking for dates, will see me in their search and can ask me out on a date".

To be totally honest, I can't say FOR SURE it wasn't active. I can say I did a search and didn't see his profile. I didn't look up his user name, I just did a search. So, there is a chance that it's always been active, but I just missed it in the search. (10-32 pages to check thru.)

(does his profile show a change in age range that he is looking for, i wonder?)

As I recall, (when I first found the profile) he had put 25-40. Yeah, he's 44. His son is almost 21, DD 20. *sigh*

I got clarification on the whole "It's not all about sex" thing. He said it was because I was "so horny". (Whatever.) and that we need to relate more on other levels. *I TOTALLY AGREE!* And I said as much. I said that I agree but in order to do that, we actually have to spend some time together doing things. (Yeah, I'm not going to bother to mention the 12 days in costa rica, or the 4 wheeling, or cirque..he is in a bad frame of mind.)

Speaking of Cirque.. ugh. We go to dinner and meet my BFF and her new boyfriend. Dinner, etc was great. Then we have to decide if we are going to drive the mile and wait 30 minutes to pay $15 for parking, or walk. We decide to walk. It should only take 20 minutes to walk there. BFF an her boyfriend are all lovey dovey and my H is being semi-distant. Then, H says we should take a certain path....Turns out to be the wrong path. Very wrong. We walked for an hour. I got blisters on the bottom of my feet and top of a toe. BFF's back of her ankles were bleeding. I screwed up my hips and back (3" high boots). My H was totally cranky; but the other two peeps were taking it in stride. (As was I.) I finally told him to can it; he's feet aren't blistered or bleeding, so get a grip. We got to the show 30 minutes late. My BFF has seen them 3 times and said this showed paled in comparison. :| oh well.

Sex life between H and I has faultered. not sure what's going on in his head. 2 weeks ago he "couldn't get enough of me." Not that sex is everything-- but it is an indication of how he is feeling.

This morning I asked why he is being so crabby and he said he didn't know... Hard to get back to work... "Quit being so lovey dovey!" huh. nice. So, when he feels lovey dovey, then it's fine to express it. But otherwise, no.
Short Vent: Why is it that I am supposed to read his moods and then act accordingly?! Ticks me off that HE can be lovey dovey and I don't reject him- HE can be "needy" and I take him and hold him-- but if *my* lovey dovey or 'needy' feelings are out there at the wrong time, I basically get rejected or talked down to. "Stop being so needy. Don't be so lovey dovey." WTF? It's ALL about HIM! GRRRR! End Vent.

Watching BFF and her BF was tough. They openly say ILY. They giggle and smile. They constantly touch each other. Lots of thoughtfulness shown. Why, in fact, that was pretty much how my H and were in Costa Rica- made it extra sad for me.