Mishka's- new thread/new tude - H who?

[mishka422]

The more I think about today's events, the more convinced I am that I put the final nail in the coffin. I expect new D papers any day now. H won't be coming back, my family will not be restored. I don't even think H is in MLC now, just sick and tired of me. Grown in a different direction...I grew up and he never has.

I'll continue my walk with God of course. I found my way back to him because of this crisis but He will sustain me for the rest of my life, such as it is.

I'm done trying to figure out ways to show H I've changed things. He doesn't give a rip anyway. I'm done being angry with him for his lack of responsibilities. I'm done being devastated that he threw me in the trash. I'm just done in general. Done with everything. I'll just move one day into the next until it's all over. So be it.

Fatalistic or realistic? I don't know which it is yet. I will live for my son. He's so special and deserves all of my attention. H deserves none and will get no more.