My H said stuff like this too when he was in the early stages of his affair with OW. Like I don't really care or love him just care about his money. I have always been totally unlike that; I helped him financially for several years and have never spent any money on myself, just him and the kids, so he was really doing crazy talk! I think from what I've seen in my sitch and others, they villainize us b/c otherwise the guilt would kill them. My H has now admitted to me a few weeks ago that he made our situation worse in his mind back in Dec. when his pa started. He says b/c he was under stress, but I think it also helped him justify the pa.
I don't think you can logically argue with someone in that state; H has realized some of that now a few months later, but I still don't think he really has become fully aware of what he was doing. I mean he would get horribly upset at me blaming me when he lost his own keys and that kind of thing. He was basically determined to think of me as some awful person for a time and even now picks fights just to make the affair/divorce/separation easier I think.
I try not to fall in the trap of arguing with him or falling into that; I think it's pointless to argue with someone that's kind of crazy and messed up like my H. I try to just avoid him when he is like that and try to be as happy, busy, and focused on me and the kids. I'm friendly but try not to spend too much time around him. Karen
