Jenny, my heart sank when I read you typed the tipsy email. I was relieved when I read you didn't send it. I should have know you are too level headed. I need to write a letter to my H. I mentioned it to my T and she assigned it as homework. I have been putting it off, but I know I need to do it. Hope you are feeling ok this morning.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I had a really great time last night with friends. It was a little uncomfortable because MIL was there...we get along well...but she has this way of completely ignoring the circumstances and it drives me nuts. I don't want to dwell on it all the time but it would be nice if she didn't pretent it didn't exist and everything is perfectly fine. I received my invite for the wedding (for the people's whose stag and doe it was last night)...I hate seeing my name only. The hyphenated my name with my maiden name...I hated that too but can understand why they did it. Speaking with the Bride to Be last night she told me that H has not been sent an invite. That the Groom hasn't decided if he wants to invite him. He doesn't want anything to do with him actually. It's weird because I only know them through H and this guy used to be one of H's closest friends. Oddly enough he is marrying SIL's best friend. SIL is the maid of honour. I told her that she and 'groom' need to make whatever decision is best for them...that's its not about be in any way and I would be ok with whatever they decide. She said that even if they did invite him OW would not be invited. I tried not to act too excited when she said that but said I appreciated it! Now that's a far cry from OW being invited to that party last weekend and me not being invited isn't it?
Lizzy....I reread the e-mail this morning that I typed to H last night and boy am I glad I didn't send it. I had no intention of sending it...I have an entire draft folder full of e-mails I've never sent. It always feels better to get it off my chest as if I'm saying it to him and then never actually send them. I highly recommend it. I was a little more than tipsy last night...first time since I can remember actually. I wasn't too hungover thank God. S slept until 7:15 and then went back to sleep after his bottle so it was good. D and I didn't get out of bed until 9. She was so sweet! She had hidden my Mother's Day present that she made me at school and remembered to go and get it for me along with the cards my Mom had given her to give me from the kids. She was really excited and I had a lot of fun with her. We went and had brunch with MIL so the kids could wish her a Happy Mother's Day. It's good now that H isn't living there any more I can go there...although I think it confused D a bit because she isn't used to seeing me there.
While I had a good Mother's Day, I had a really hard day too...emotionally. I think hormones are a factor since I stopped nursing last week, but I've been crying a lot today. D caught me at one point and I felt really bad about it. H called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day...I was shocked.
I'm absolutely beat as I usually am after my weekend with the kids. So I'll be in bed early tonight because I have a busy day tomorrow with the agent coming at 3...I have to get my house ready for her to take pictures. And trust me...with what D did to this house today it is in no shape for that! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
I'm working like a dog (a tired dog) trying to get the house packed up and ready for the real estate agent coming at 3. So why am I sitting at the computer?? Cause I needed a 5 minute break!
It's hard to do because it's really facing reality in a big way. I'm having a hard time not letting the emotions get the better of me. This is the way I see it....at Christmas time I had a hard time decorating the tree. I cried through the whole thing. But I didn't stop...there were times I could barely see the decorations for the tears....but I just kept going until it was done. This is taking a longer than the tree....but I'm going to press forward through the tears until it is done!
Well I better get going....an hour and half to go! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
Work through it. You know you can do it. I'm glad you were able to go out and have fun this weekend. It was a nice gesture of H to call. Have a good week and keep letting us know what's going on. -B
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
As we were putting the sign on the lawn a neighbour across the street came across with a family member and asked if they could look at the house. We took them through and they really liked it...we'll see.
H and I had a heated discussion today about D. I told him I was worried about her behaviour. He continued to downplay and say that she's fine when she's with him so he doesn't really know what the problem might be. He said something along the lines of it only being a couple weeks and if there were bad affects down the road maybe he would rethink his decisions. Something like that anyway. I thought it was worth mentioning because all of sudden I realized that could be his 'out'. I know it's sounds cynical (or maybe even optomistic for that matter!)...but if he decides he wants out of OW thing...he can always say it's because D isn't adjusting.
Anyway...I accomplished my goal...the house is up for sale. Still lots to do...but one thing at a time. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
How does it feel to see the sign on the lawn? I'm planning on selling this summer too at some point and am torn about it.
Have you had many people come through yet? I know you just put the house up on Monday but I'm wondering how often people come through and if you need to vacate each time (especially when you have young children)?
You may be right that your H is planting the seeds of a way out of his ugly mess. That will be very interesting to see.
WTG...it feels really weird to have the sign on the lawn...I hate it actually. But when I get stuck on that I just think about the place I want and how exciting that will be. Living on the same street as my best friend! How great will that be?
People are starting to come through and I don't have to leave, but there is a lock box on the door. They call to confirm appmt's with me first so I can decide whether to be here or not. I am going to try to keep D out of the house when people are coming as I don't want to freak her out more than I have to. So today while the house is showing I'm going to pick her up from preschool and we're going to have dinner at the park! I love a picnic!
D was good last night and this morning for me...thank God. 2 nights ago she bit me....she has NEVER done that. She was so frustrated and tired...I have been reading a lot and it is her way of expressing her own hurt and confusion right now. I wish H would start to concern himself a little more. Every time I refer to a book he rolls his eyes...I just don't get him.
ANYWAY....it's been an emotional few days but I think I'm on the upswing again. This weekend is H's first double overnight with S. So both S & D will be with him Friday and Saturday nights. I'm sad about it...but it will be good for both of the kids. So what am I doing to keep myself busy? Well since it's the long weekend (Victoria Day weekend in Canada) I'm heading up North to a friends cottage! I haven't been up there childless in almost 4 years so I'm really looking forward to it. I'm going to read and go for walks and cook and drink and play cards and sunbathe and drink and maybe even go swimming in the frigid waters! Did I mention I'm going to drink? I've known this friend for 20+ years and have been going to this cottage for just as long. She is my friend who went through exactly this 5 years ago. That's right, she had a 7 month old baby with Down Syndrom and her H left her for someone else. Long story short....7 months later the aliens returned him and he came back to her to work on their M. Now almost 5 years and ANOTHER daughter later things seem to be going pretty good for them. The way my friend handled her sitch was DB perfection. BUT....she didn't even know she was doing it. She did't have the book or anything...she just accepted, faced reality, GAL and began to move on. And only when she did that did he reconsider. She had her ups and downs but she was amazing. She is one of the strongest people I know and she has been an amazing friend and resource through all of this. Thought you all might like to hear that DB success story! I can't wait to spend the weekend with her, her H and their 2 D's.
J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
