Cleaning out the Cobwebs

[LoginName]

Hi,
Hope you don't mind me butting in.
PS, know what you mean, and what Aud means. I crave the intimacy, closeness, that still isnt' there,and I secretly want my W to show more (some real?) remorse. I stll can't believe she did what she did. But, I know I can't know what she thinks or feels. Personally, I think the pain and remorse is so big, that she (and maybe your H) can't admit to it. There is always the threat in there mind that what they did is so horrible you will never forgive them, or worse, they just aren't worthy of your love. I try not to dwell on hoping my W shows more remorse. Hell, she came back and faced the music. How much more can I ask.

I've been struggling like Aud with the intimacy and closeness not being there, like I'd like it to be. I found some energy and started reading again. I finally got Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Good book. I'm planning on re-reading some of the other books (DB, Fighting for your Marriage),and, I got Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch. This book is really opening my eyes. The others are good, and have important insights, but this one talks about what I'm most concerned with, the intimacy and passion and love.

Have you read it? What do you think of it?

It kind of corresponds to GAL, and detaching, but puts it together in a way that makes sense when you try to take two individuals and bring them together in a relationship. Detaching is so important, but I never understood how it could be good to detach from the one person you want to be closest too. This book has an answer.

I sound like an ad. Sorry. I tend to get that way when I hear new ideas. I'm only half way through the book, but I think it's a fresh idea that will be helpful to me, and maybe you all.

There are men who crave that closeness and intimacy as much as you women (and no, it's not Just about sex (although, for me at least, that is important)).

Well Aud, I said I'd find your thread and do some reading. Now I'm going up to the top of this thread and see more details.

OH! Happy Mothers day (or is it Mother's day?)