Our 34th anniversary is coming up on the 2nd of July. That's how long he has to make up his mind. I've gotten a lot more realistic so I know this isn't going to end well. I think the most painless thing would be the open marriage. At least that's what I am hoping for. I've suffered enough and I deserve to have my cake and eat it too for a while.
You can decide whatever you like, the thing is, so can he. You might decide that you want an open marriage, he might decide that he no longer wants to be married to you, regardless of the financial impact.
You are obviously upset enough that you are not exploring all the possibilities.
I will tell you this, the vast majority of "open marriages" where BOTH spouses openly participate, fail.
If you are dead-set on having an affair, you will not find what you are looking for. If you are fortunate, it will take a minimum of time for you to figure that out. In you are less fortunate, then the damage may be irreparable. You lose either way, either some, or a lot. You might as well toss dice.
From an even more practical point of view, deciding to take unilateral action in a relationship that directly affects both partners, and entertaining ANY ideation that the other partner is limited in their choice of unilateral response, is not to understand anything at all about relationships.
All the best, NOPkins
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
