Real life's getting more like fiction each day....

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sara,

You are not "kicking him out of the house." You are setting a personal boundary, and letting him know that there are certain acceptable levels of courtesy and behavior for him living with you. Having an affair, staying out all night, lying to you, and treating you rudely are not acceptable to his wife.

Puppy

[Eagle 2]

Sara,

Hang in there. You are really doing the tough love thing. Making him face his decisions and the results/ramifications.

If nothing else, you gain self respect. Keep us posted.

Eagle 2

[girlfromipanema]

I'm so proud of you, Sara. I know how hard this is for you. You're doing the right thing for both of you.

[Starshyne]

Thank you everyone. This weekend I had to do the hardest thing I think I have ever done in my life and I really appreciate all of your support and encouragement. I don't know if I could have done it without knowing that you all were out there somewhere routing for me. Each of you are wonderful and I honestly thank the Lord that I have found DB forum and all of you who are going through this awful time.

I know I didn't "kick him out." You all know that as well. However, I am sure that he is telling people that I "kicked him out." I guess that shouldn't matter, but I just really hate people thinking that I am the bad one in this whole mess.

I saw H today in traffic. I wonder where he was going. I guess I am not supposed to wonder where he was going, but I do.

I have a busy week planned for myself
Monday: rescheduled guitar lessons from Friday (yeah, I didn't go because the teacher canceled)
Tuesday: Nothing
Wednesday: Church
Thursday: see the play at the community theatre with mom
Friday: See the Narnia movie with group from church

It makes me sad to see the Narnia movie without my H. We love Narnia and it has became part of our everyday conversation. It will be difficult to go see it and not whisper things to H. But I can't allow him not being here to stop me from seeing a movie I want to see.

[karen43]

I know I didn't "kick him out." You all know that as well. However, I am sure that he is telling people that I "kicked him out." I guess that shouldn't matter, but I just really hate people thinking that I am the bad one in this whole mess.

I don't think most or anyone will be convinced by your H that you are the bad guy. My H was kind of saying a lot of stuff back in December and some of our friends have told me that they thought he was talking kind of stupid and delusional and stuff like that and from what they said they weren't taking what he was saying seriously--a lot of our mutual friends have kind of given him the cold shoulder now and stuff, and he stays away from them also which I am actually sad about, but H kind of did that to himself I guess.

It sounds like you have a great schedule planned for the week!!! I've gotten a lot of support from my new church and church friends, too! My kids want to see the Narnia movie too--it does look good!!! Hope you have a great week!!! Karen

[MichelleLT]

People that know what how you are won't believe you kicked him out. It doesn't matter what he says, his actions speak louder. And people can see that.

Don't dwell on it too much.

You are doing awesome. I love the plans for the week. I also need to go see the Narnia movie, but can't imagine going to see it without H.

(((Sara))) Hang in there. Enjoy your week. Enjoy the peace and quiet of living alone.

[GoingForward]

Hi, Sara. Karen and Michelle are right. I don't think your H is capable of making anyone truly believe that you are the bad guy in any of this.

Great plans for the week, btw! For Tuesday, whatcha gonna change "nothing" in to??? Treat yourself to something special, no matter how big or small. Something just for YOU.

[Starshyne]

Thanks again everyone...you are right. H can't make me totally look like the bad guy. I mean you don't ask someone to leave the house for no reason, right? So once they hear the reasons, then any reasonable person would understand.

I haven't contacted H in any way today. It has been difficult. In a way it doesn't seem real. All of his things (except for the clothes and a few other items that I packed up) are still here. It looks like he is just gone on a trip and will return soon. I am not really sure if everything has really hit me yet.

I hate the fact that I don't know where he is. I have no idea if he is sleeping in his car, at a woman's house, a hotel, etc. But I know that I need to let that go and not think about it. This whole thing is just really hard. Hard to be here in the house alone, hard to see things that remind me of him, hard to not know where he is. I know that I did the right thing, but it is still difficult. Yet I do feel relief finally.

[Snow White]

Hi Sara,

I am glad you are feeling relief. I know how hard it is. Today is 4 weeks since my H moved out. It hasn't been easy but it hasn't been as hard as I expected. The time has actually flown by when I thought each day would feel like an eternity, I have to remind myself how long it has been already. There is no wondering what time he will be home, or trying to figure out where he must be because it is so late and he is not home yet. There is that peace.

It is great that you have so much planned it will make the time go quickly for you as well.

Take care,

Snow White

[kat727]

Sara, I totally understand how you feel. When my H left there wasn't any real discussion, just gone. It did hurt, well still does but I actually start to feel better about me when he is not around. I have only been here a couple of months, so I am far behind some of you, but I have been dealing with this for nearly 2 years. I just didn't want to lose my H, but he was already gone. Just a shell was left behind.

Maybe we have to get the big D for him to get it...I just don't know. And if it comes to that, it may well be over for me. I have no idea what could happen in 5 weeks that would change the path my H has set us on. Perhaps God has it all figured out. I just have to believe that.
We will be ok Sara because we deserve to be. We are fighting the good fight, for the right reasons. I am going to try to start redoing the house so that it won't even look like the house "we" lived in. Perhaps that could work for you too.
kat