So Bworl.... did you borrow my life while I wasnt looking?
Wow... what amazing parallels. Thanks for your reply. Very meaningful.
Specific thoughts...
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But boy, when REAL trouble began, the body could NOT handle it.
Ditto in my sitch. Which leaves the big question in my mind... Why? I do not want to be critical of the individuals of my church experience because they are wonderful people. Somehow though... the sitution they are involved in has becomne irrelevant to the situations in my life.
Could it perhaps be because there are other underlying agenda of the organized church other than true care for the believer and true sharing of the "good news". Could it be that selfish agenda (which any of us can be side-tracked by) have woven through our church efforts and congregational behaviours? Such as creating conformity of behaviour and appearances rather than truly sharing the gospel?
Or perhaps feeding the machine of the church organization (building, reputation, salaries, positions, programs, etc, etc) has actually become paramount such that a person in genuine pain cannot find help?
If that is the case... .this has drifted far from the Jesus I read about in the Bible. Jesus was a very practical man. He dealt with many people one-on-one exactly where they were at. He intermingled with people in their situations of sin, pain, and calamity and did something practical about it. Does that discribe our church experiences?
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The Pastor of the church shared our struggles with some other members of the church (breaching our confidentiality) and soon everyone knew. Wasn't long before we realized that no one was really comfortable with us around anymore.
Oh man.... have I experienced this one. A pastor telling someone's story of life-destroying calamity from the pulpit and thinking it was OK by simply leaving their name out.
Or after I get back from treatment.... which I was naive enough at the time to believe was confidential... I had members of a particular congregation come up to me and openly discuss my problem with substance abuse. And of course they only found out about it because someone phoned the organization so they could "pray for me". Which in my experience is again thinly veiled weak human behaviour disguised as "ministry". Not meaning prayer is weak human behaviour, but more so that the tendancey to spread the gosip on the guise of sharing the need for prayer.
The lawyer I mentioned in one of my other posts who left his pastoral position.... one of his key issues was the total lack of true confidentiality by others in his corporate church experience versus confidentiality as a Lawyer or Doctor may know it.
Anyway... I do not mean to beat up on the church so I will leave my reply at that for the time being.
These are my experiences and I suppose some of my hurt and disagreement with certain behaviours is coming through in my posting. So I will go back to my orginal message that I believe I was trying to make....
I have found TREMENDOUS, MEANINGFUL, RELEVANT healing on these message boards and other venues that encourage rigorous honesty and a deep, deep examination of self. And of course a method to then deal with what you find. I am glad to find it and grateful to live in the blessings it has provided.
I believe these blessings are available to all who are willing to do what it takes.
