I am thinking of giving up

[Mojones]

I guess I have to learn how to use this outlet better...I switch where I post based on the subject.Sorry about He is not seeing the OW.I told him in the beginning that he was crayz if he thought she would not have expectations of him if he left me for her. He said he gave that some thought and he never had any intention of having a relationship with her so therefore he should not see her/talk to her anymore.He also promised my D he was done with her. I have tried to be friends but it is so hard. I start to feel like he has interest and then he reminds me that he does not. I know that I still have so much to go through with him getting the apartment and all. Putting my feelings aside and not telling him I am sad is difficult too. I have shared everything with him for the last 12 years. Today is mothers day.He gave me my gift on Friday and I saw that as a good indicator that I would not be seeing him today.He woke up and left the house this morning while I was at church. I have not called him.I am afraid to speak with him actually. The last time I spoke with him was not that good. I have a slight feeling like he might say these things for me today and that I might not have a choice.