It's good that you came here to vent. We all have and/or are traveling the same path that you are on. All of the responsibility tends to get "dumped" on the lbs when the spouse flies the coop.
How do they deal w/it? Well...I suspect that the compartmentalize the situation and shove it in the back of their minds once they are w/the op. That is, as long as they have things to occupy their minds and time, they block us out. Once they are alone, most likely night, the mind tends to wonder and that is when they are reminded of what they've done. Guilt will eat at them, but they are determined to stuff it down and not look at or admit what they've done. Unfortunately, it's going to take a long time for them, if ever, to admit that what they've done is wrong.
naej is right--it will get better in time. It sucks, but please try to enjoy your special day w/your children.
Happy Mother's Day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
