I have no choice but to stand by the "changes" I've made. I'm not really making any changes at all...I am merely recovering from bipolar disorder by staying on meds and seeking therapy...and becoming more aware of my thoughts/emotions.
I am the "old self" I always was. The change was me becomming more severely affected by bipolar disorder because I was not even aware I had it...therefore, I was not being treated and was getting worse.
I'm standing by my commitment. It is the only right thing to do at this point. I am still married and I took a vow to stand by her until its done. And no, there are no other women. Never were.
I pray every single night before I go to bed that God grants me the wisdom and will to keep up the "fight" for my marriage. I know he has a plan. They say God has a plan for all of us, I was just tired of being plan "b". Now I realize I just have to be patient, withdraw (with love), and continue to recover. If she decides to never come back, at least I will be a whole person again regardless.
Sometimes I really, really hate being bipolar. Then again, without it, I would NEVER have gotten to the point where I am right now....where I more completely understand my own emotions and thoughts than I ever have in my life.
