I have been dealing with this monster for awhile in my own hubby.
He is not able to support the children and I financially but instead we help eachother back and forth continuously.
My husband watches the kids while I go to work and is around a lot We see him 6 -7 times a week. I try to always be kind and loving to him. If he needs something I try to provide it as he does with me. He does not talk much but every now and then he shares a little.
I know the crisis is still on though but I usually hear about it more than anything. He makes such a conscious effort not to let his rage out on me and the children. I pray for him a lot and I pray that the Holy Spirit guides me on how I speak to him.
I know I do not post much but Butterflymom and Yellowrose are great inspirations to me and Steelers has helped me avoid many mistakes. Steelers helps me to see that there are things I have no need to worry about.
When our husbands are so confused and hurt I do not see how making ulitmatums and going dark can possibly help them more. When they were young they did not get the same love and affection that allows a person to grow up into an emotionally healthy adult. How is treating them the same way that damaged them in the past going to heal them in the present? Wouldn't that just add to it and make them feel more alone?
Jesus turns NO ONE away and gives NO ultimatums. I know we always hear the saying to treat our spouses the way Christ would. I was listening to a recordeing on Spirit of Hosea. The Christian counsler advised this, to treat your spouse the way you would treat Jesus. That takes such an act of faith. But this counsler saw many marriages restored.
God is not going to call us to stand to simply change his mind on us and say "oh nevermind, just kidding." His promises NEVER return void, all we need to do is keep looking to Him for guidance. As we give selflessly God WILL reward us in His perfect timing the years the locust have eaten will be restored.
