Originally Posted By: Chazz
Dodo... your point about both giving it 100% for prolonged period to try to save it before finally packing it in really rings loudly in my heart.

So many people, including my ex's parents, advised us of this. Including but not limited to also people we knew who had survived affairs in their marriages.

My ex's family even offered to pay to send us to Gary Smalley's "Marriage Intensive" at his counselling centre in Missouri. A majorly intense program for couples in dire distress. My ex would have no part of it.

Even Dr. Phil on his web site and in his book, "Relationship Rescue" advises strongly that before you pack it in you sould read every book, take every course, leave no stone unturned. Basically you need to prove to yourselves beyond the shadow of a doubt that it will not work. And even so, if you cannot leave the R without bitterness or resentment, then you still have unfinished business. Powerful advice. FEw have the courage to follow that through.

I am sure Michelle W-D would concur. It is just too doggone easy to walk away under the entitlement exception.

I know mine did. She was entitled to happiness and me and our marriage were in her mind the reasons she was not. It is now up to her to find happiness which it does not appear that she has yet. But whatever.... that is her journey.

Love the lively dialogue.

Chaz


Chaz,

For me, I wanted to be 100% CERTAIN I had tried everything to save my M........ I NEVER wanted to look back and regret anything...

That is very interesting you mention Relationship Rescue.... When the sh!t all started, I bought exW and I copies of the book..... She never read it... I also wanted her to go to one of those "Marriage Intensives"... Of course, she wanted nothing to do with it.... Her loss....

MAN, do I know about exs finding "happiness".... My Dodo exW said the following:
Quote:
It is MY turn to be happy!!!!!!!!!!
I was just standing there thinking, WTF!?! When is MY turn to be happy!?!

I honestly think my exW will regret her actions some day as well.... She will at least regret not giving things a chance..... Oh, well, I gave it my all and gave her numerous chances...... She has another 40 or so years to think about her actions......

Take Care,

NMD

Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 05/11/08 12:05 AM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret