Cinders, I am finding tears in my eyes as I read your post. You show such real love. You are such a genuine person.
I pray my wife can find it back to be that person with our children, even if we are never together again. As I read about how you are letting Mother's Day go so you can give once again to your family, I think of the scripture where "her children will rise up and call her blessed!" So many of you incredibly, awesome women grace this site, I am overwhelmed.
With the ones we love who are so far removed with reality, some are closer to their children while others see them as an inconvenience. My W falls into the latter camp and I have trouble coping with that. It is bad enough that I don't have my W close to me anymore, but to see my children, daily, realize that they don't come 1st, 2nd, 3rd in my Ws new life. They know that my W makes time for them when she has to. I don't like saying that out loud or to others because I feel like I am betraying my promises.
Cinders, for me, I think it hurts so much worse that she is "finished" with them more than she is finished with me. I usually do not interfere but I did it for the kids sake and my Ws as well. I encouraged our children and my W to get together this weekend for Mother's Day. I said she could have the whole weekend but she is only taking advantage of a couple of hours today (taking them to an amusement park) and for Brunch tomorrow.
How can a mom lose her desire to be with her children?
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Thanks TOH, I pray for you too, as I do for so many other brave souls here on this forum !
MMF......
Quote:
How can a mom lose her desire to be with her children?
I truly have no idea, in a way I find it harder to understand than a man walking away from his family...as a woman and mother, I cannot begin to imagine why or how I could 'forget' about my kids...
I do however think that God has given you the strength and love for 2 !!!! I am so very proud and in awe of how you cope and what you do for your kids - and W even !! You are an unselfish soul and I can only pray and hope that one day your wife will SEE again. (First I was blind and now I see)...I do think it becomes important that they actually wake up, whereas in the beginning I would have taken H back no matter what.
You have become a BETTER man, a STRONGER and more LOVING man, and father and no matter what happens, that is what will help you through it and make you and the kids HAPPY !
H picked kids up this morning. Kids and I assumed he was going to take them to the beach. He didn't. He took them to a fair in the city. D9 made me fresh orange juice in the morning and some tea and brought it up to bed for me, she was so sad that she won't be here tomorrow morning. I love her graceful soul !
I had a great day in the sun. Went to visit friends all day and had a LOVELY day!
I hope all is well with all of you, still praying for us all !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
How in the world do you not get your kids for Mothers Day?
That makes no sense.
Even a brain dead, selfish, egomaniacal, MLC-addled brained man should have enough common decency to insist that your children be with you on Mothers Day.
Goodness...
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
ow is at this moment off with H to meet my in-law's. They were not looking forward to this. Neither am I. My MIL called this morning and told me how much they love me and that I will always be their DIL, and mother of their grandkids.
If I have learnt anything through this ...it's that things DO change.
I will try not to worry about the future and what this meeting may mean and do to us all.
I am praying to God today, for I need His strength.
H went to the school festival today.
It was awful to not be able to share my most intense emotions of pride and joy for our children with their father, for now he has become a complete stranger...I miss him.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
No Cinders, you miss the "old" Husband. You do not miss the Man he has become. Once you can start to differenciate between the two, it becomes easier to cope.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
