Cake eating or progress?

[Bworl]

It's a balancing act. I perhaps am not as "by the book" in my thoughts about these matters as others are.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting you do one of those bare your soul, tell him how very much you love him and hate living without him deals. When I say speak the truth, I mean tell him just why you said what you said.

You tell him that you saw him on match. You tell him you went to match because it's going to take awhile for you to trust again, so in your suspicion, you checked it out. You tell him that you loved your trip together, that you truly enjoyed being close again. And you honestly tell him that when he begins to back away, you struggle with thinking that he's wanting someone else.

Then you tell him that you honestly know that these feelings will get better with time.

How's that sound?

And by the way, honesty works in other areas too.

If he cops an attitude with you, speak your mind there. Just don't go into "destroy everything" mode.

If he gets pissy, tell him he's acting pissy. Tell him even that you understand why he's being pissy. But it's also ok to tell him that him being pissy makes you feel pissy because quite frankly he hasn't built up enough good will yet for him to deserve being pissy with you in your mind.

Hey, this is just me.

I think about how much I tip toed around my ex. And what did it get me? Divorced and now basically a single parent.

Being nice is not the key.
Being a bitch is not the key.

There is no damned key.

That's why I say the best we can do for ourselves is to be WHO WE ARE, try to be patient and understanding, but refuse to be [censored] upon by the people who have already done enough shitting on us.


Hope all of this makes some sense.


Blessings,

Bill