For the guy with kids and WW II

[hopeful4her]

Last night went very well. Got off work a little early to get WW her Mothers Day gift. A cross necklace from James Avery.

Something funny. I bought WW a ring from there about 2 years ago for an anniversay gift. Beautiful script "Love" and 2 hearts on opposite side. Symbol of our love for each other. Last October, when WW stopped wearing her wedding ring, I at least had some satisfaction that she would wear the anniversary ring, sometimes.

She has now been wearing the ring full time on her wedding ring finger for a couple of months. Symbolic for me in that it covers her in my love when I'm not around. I don't think she understands the meaning it holds for me for her to be wearing it. It may just be a pretty ring for her or maybe another meaning to her. James Avery is a Christian based jeweler. I'm not going to say anything about it at this point. Gonna let her stay covered whether she wants to or not.

Continuing.

WW got home before I did and started on dinner. Her chicken flautas. Yum! It was only WW, I and D's. S14 went to his Dads for the weekend. Sat in living to watch a family movie. D6 insisted on sitting next to me, so WW sat next to D11. As movie went on, they all switched places and WW ended up on sofa and me on floor sitting next to her legs. My shoulder and her legs were touching the whole time and we were sharing some candy back and forth.

After movie, cleaning up, WW became unsure of the Laredo trip because of the puppies. She was changing her mind and maybe she'll just check on him and we can rent a hotel downtown here and just have a vacation day at the pool and be back home. We'll see in the morning.

Slept under the regular bedding, but still close to each other. Lots of leg, arm and butt touching Of course, this is all in our sleep, but I know this because I am a very light sleeper. WW sleeps like a rock. Anything wakes me up. At one point, I woke up and thought about putting my arm around her waist like I used to sleep, but decided against. I have gone to fast in the past.

Kids wake us up in the morning by throwing puppies in our face. I'm a little irritated but catch myself. They are excited about going somewhere. I make us the coffee and WW makes the waffles and prepares mine all the way. Kids keep asking what we are going to do. I can tell WW doesn't know what to do. I ask her what she really wants to do. She says visit her father. I tell her to go and I will stay and take care of the dogs. I tell her she needs to go and visit him if that is what she really wants. She calls FIL and talks to him and I hear her say that maybe they'll just go for the day and included me on the visit. She tells me maybe just for the day and I tell her that she will probably want to spend the night when it is time to go. I will stay and get some projects done.

I have a feeling that she is thinking that I don't want to go. I tell her that I want to go, but I want her to enjoy herself and not feel rushed to come home. She has the option to stay the night.

D11 is bummed and is my sensitive one. "But I want you to go, Dad!" she says in her whiny voice. Repeatedly. I tell her they'll have fun, I'll be ok and will take care of the dogs. Everyone get ready and packed just in case. I do want to go, but I am not going to say so. I'll let her go with the kids. Say my good byes to kids. I'm at the house doorway and WW just gives me a wave from the car and says she'll call me when they get there. I go to tell D6 to be a good girl and WW walks my way. I go to give her a hug. No hug back at first, but then a half hug. I tell her to please be careful and she says not to worry. I tell her to call me. Say goodbyes again and come inside and hear car drive away. I know that D11 is telling WW that she misses me already. I know her.

Tearing up. I hate being away from them. I want to be with them. All of them.

I hear car drive back in. My heart is pounding. Wiping my eyes. Can't let her see me like this. Putting away clothes.

It is D6 bringing dog back inside because she was trying to follow. Good bye, again sweety. I love you.

Tears are coming again and really down.