Real life's getting more like fiction each day....

[Starshyne]

Well I talked to him on the phone last night and it got ugly. I was mean, rude and vulger and now I regret it. I was just so angry. But that wasn't really me. Now I can't take back the mean and ugly things I said.

When I was on the phone with him he said that he was at that momemnt looking at apartments. I don't believe him.

I packed up his things in brown paper bags and put them on the back porch. Then I locked all of the doors so that he couldn't get in. He never came around.

I guess I will move his things into the garage. But right now I am scared. I am shaking so much. I just want this confrontation to happen so I can have some relief in all of this.

My parents live 2 houses down. My H is scared of my Dad right now (he is a really big guy) and they have offered to stay here with me, thinking that just the sight of his van in the driveway would scare H away without me having to change the locks.

H's parents are useless. They are part of the reason H is the mess that he is. He used them as much as he is using me and they never stood up for themselves.

I honestly don't see my H getting violent at all. If anything I was verbally abusive to him on the phone yesterday.

The idea of going away for a few days sounds wonderful. I would love to go visit one of my friends (one in KY or one in Boston). However, I have a lot of responsiblities at work here at the end of the school year. There is a field trip on Monday and I can't miss that and there is training for next year's book series that I can't miss as well. If I did leave for a few days, would it look like I had abandoned the house?

Well..there are a lot of things I want to do today. I do not want to wait around and see if my H is going to be coming around. However, if I leave then he can get in (the screen doors only lock from the inside). I think I am just going to go ahead and do what I want to do.

Thank you everyone for your support. Believe it or not, I still want to work on my marriage. I honestly believe geting H out of the house would be very helpful in saving my marriage.