I think family therapy would be a very good idea. If she won't go with you and your kids, go anyway.
I also think it would be a good idea to talk to your lawyer about a restraining order against this man to keep him away from your kids. Considering his criminal record and immigration status, that should be very easily done.
Finally, you need to "firewall" your family's finances so that your wife can't wipe you out financially. She is WAY fogged out, and capable of anything at this point.
I'm sorry you're going thru this. Continue to be truthful with your kids, answering any questions that they have, but not "putting them in the middle" if you can. Do not look for them to support YOU emotionally -- you support THEM (sounds like you're doing all of this anyway, I'm just reminding).
