Passion Gone

[Jen_Jam]

Looking at the flip side, I wonder how much this fits your H? Did he, once upon a time, feel that he was attractive - and has that changed? Maybe your course should be to "encourage him to rediscover his inner sexy self". Make sense?

Oh YES!!!! There is something else here I haven't I believe stated much before and I think it has to be considered.

First - let me add the new knickers are having a wonderful effect. Inviting H to "investigate my new knickers" with a cheeky grin on my face is a winner

I was brought up with the "sex should not be discussed" attitude. I wasn't told it was dirty, it just wasn't really discussed that much. I also had very low self esteem practially all my life, which getting bombed finally helped with.

Admission time - I used to be the LD one! H was the HD, I was LD. He used to make a play for me and I'd push him off. I remember once he said something, words to the effect off "sometimes I feel like I'm pawing at you" when all he was doing was trying to give me a cuddle and I was squirming.

Why? Why was I so LD? I used to think sex was dirty, that men only liked it if it was a bit kinky. WRONG. I will never forget, Jeff, the line you said to me "yes, sex can be dirty and kinky but making love to your spouse NEVER is". Those words will stay with me forever and they really helped turn things around for me.

My H doesn't like it kinky or dirty. He likes to be touched, massaged, he loves to feel his hands on me. I'm a bit ticklish so for me being HELD firmly is lovely. So, he was showing love the way he wanted and it was tickling me, I was showing love the way I wanted and it was making H feel unloved. Ha! Easy solved.

Maybe when my H was making advances and I was pushing him away this contributed to his LD. I'm sure for him it was horrible to have his advances turned down time and time again, from what i've read that makes people feel unattractive then if they don't have that inner sexy self it's hard to get in the mood.

So I remember the LD me, it was years ago now, although I can feel its shadow surface now and then. I can push it away by remembering I AM a great gal, worthy of love, I AM attractive, I DO look good. Losing the fat is helping too. I cannot feel sexy if I am flabby. I'm not saying flabby people aren't sexy, but **I** feel unsexy if **I** am flabby. So I owe it to myself to keep up the healthy eating and exercise.

I just wanted to make the admission that yes, I was an LD wife and it got me a whole heap of trouble. I wish i'd sorted myself out ages ago. But I'm doing it now and it's having great results.