Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[blindsided1]

Thanks FG for the kudos. I'm trying to stay in that mind set. However, today is payday for him and he owes me money. So, I'm going to be delicate, but firm with him. Ugggh I hate asking for the money.

ST - I get what you are saying. And, in some ways it makes me happy to know that those material things put a smile on my face. However, it DOES NOT make me happy to know that he isn't taking care to save money for the baby. I am. And, funny thing is after we got our tax refund back, the only thing I bought for myself was a pair of sunglasses. Last night he saw them and said, "oh, new sunglasses? You never bought anything when we were together because you always said we didn't have any money". I just politely said, "I got tax money back too. I bought sunglasses and put the rest in savings." So, I guess he is free to do as he will with his money (or should I say OW's money because I KNOW she pays for everything). But, you would have been proud of me, I complimented him on how he looked on his motorcycle (ego boost - gag) and I complimented his motorcycle, as well. I kept that smile on my face and didn't even let on that it was driving me crazy. But, I just kept reminding myself..."this is HIS debt and NOT mine, anymore". That is a plus.

[blindsided1]

Well, I just texted H to remind him that he owed me a little more than usual this week and asked kindly when I could expect to see it. He responded that it would go in by tomorrow and to have a good day at work. That was a pleasant surprise. But, I'll be more surprised when it's actually in the account. And, great news: I landed a huge account at work today. I feel really good right now. Hope the weekend is like that, as well.

[Tomato]

It is an outstanding thing to hear an upbeat Blindsided1.

I say you are due for a streak of good days!

Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised when the $ is actually in there by tomorrow. I'll pray on that for ya.

Have a terrific w/e B!

[Tomato]

Oh, and have a super Mom's day. I hope it is a special day for you. I am sure Kendall will give you a sweet little kick for your day, in appreciation of your carrying her for these 8 months.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I'm sure that your H is annoyed that now your doing things for yourself and maybe you weren't before. For me, I was bitter that I had to spend even less on myself to cover what H spent more of. I can imagine you felt the same way. So as a result, our H's were annoyed that we were bitter because we didn't do anything for ourselves and they thought in their minds that to fix it, we should just buy/do something for ourselves. make sense? So, I think you might have taken his comment about your sunglasses a little different then what he was thinking. Just giving you my perspective from what I have realized about my own H. and I've seen many similarities about you and your H with me and my H.

definitely Happy Mothers Day weekend to you! You are going to be a great mom!

[NikB]

Happy First Mother's Day, B!!!

[blindsided1]

Thanks Tomato, ST and Nik

ST you are probably right about H and buying something for myself. He always bugged me to spend money on me, or go shopping for clothes. I just liked putting money away for another time.

So, I need some advice. H and I have a Maternity Tour set up for the 18th. We've had this planned months in advance and over the last 2 weeks he's asked me at least 4 or 5 times when it was. So, last night, he calls and asks me AGAIN. I tell him it's the 18th a week from this Sunday. He asks if I can change it. I tell him that the next one on a Sunday is 3 days before my due date and that is too close for comfort. I ask what, is something wrong? He tells me that he has other plans for that day that he's already committed to. I remind him that he committed to this tour months ago. He says, "I know I just forgot". So, I'm pretty pissed right now. This is a tour of the facility and the pre-admission stuff. It makes me mad that he used the word "committed". He committed to our M and he committed to starting a family. Both of which he has NOT honored his committment. So, what do I do? Do I express that it makes me upset. Or do I just say something like "It's on the 18th from 2-4pm. If you can't go, then I will just go it alone." And, act as if it's no big deal? I just think it's pretty crappy that he is going to this "other committment" and not the one he made to me. So, not sure how to act. I left the conversation with "I'll take a look at the schedule and see if there are any other classes we might switch to and let you know when I get home." I didn't call him when I got home, nor did I call him today. There is one more class on a Wednesday night and he would have to switch his schedule around to attend. But, should I even change the original appointment or just leave it as is and let him make the decision. Which, I'm sure, will NOT be the one I'M hoping for. I'm just trying to remain calm and not pressure. But, on the other hand I feel like he's not having to account for his commitments he's made to me.

Advice please.

[blindsided1]

On a better, more upbeat note: Today I went to a Mother's Day tea that my Mom, MIL and I attend every year. A very close friend to my Mother hosts it and it includes friends of my MOther's that I have grown up with. It was nothing unusual until after lunch. The host hands me an invitation and it reads....You are all invited to attend "Blindsided1's" Surprise Baby Shower, May 10th at 12 noon". She says that this is the invitation everyone else got. I got the regular tea invitation. Then out march a line of presents and a cake. They made the tea into a surprise baby shower. I thought I was going to cry. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. There were women there that I have only met once or twice before and they all participated. One of them even sewed me a quilt for the baby. It truly was a wonderful day. It just makes me realize and appreciate all the love and support that I have surrounding me.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's and Mother's to be.

[Tomato]

They got you pretty good with that Mother's Day tea scheme. That is so nice to hear. It gave me a smile.

I got to spend some real quality time with my DD14 today. At first I was hesitant to head over to get together with her. She was having a slightly rough day and as a result she actually solicited me to come and hang out with her (mainly cuz W has not been responding to her repeated calls). I was sure glad I did. We did some Hallmark and flower shopping for tomorrow. And we grabbed a Subway sandwich (which she is always in the mood for). She also wanted me to take her to a jeweler so that we could craft our own "firestone" bead necklace. She got 4 beads representing the colors of the birthstones for each member of our cozy little family .. me, her, W & her D. It is so good to get to spend time with her. She had as rotten of a childhood as one could possibly have but she has a heart of gold that did not get messed with.

In reference to the advice you were seeking B, I think you should not alter the date of the maternity tour at all. He is so used to having you make things right after his repeated screw ups. Continue to show him a new Blindsided1 by forcing him to handle his own business and problems. We will see what others have to say but that is how I would approach it.

You and Kendall keep doing well.

[PhD_ChrisD]

Hi BlindSided,

That is so cool! Isn't it a blessing to have such wonderful friends and family? There sure are a lot of good people in this world. In fact, I would definately say that the good people far out-number the bad people in overall numerical representation.

Have a happy Mother's Day! Do something nice for yourself today.

Best,
--Chris