Dodo... your point about both giving it 100% for prolonged period to try to save it before finally packing it in really rings loudly in my heart.
So many people, including my ex's parents, advised us of this. Including but not limited to also people we knew who had survived affairs in their marriages.
My ex's family even offered to pay to send us to Gary Smalley's "Marriage Intensive" at his counselling centre in Missouri. A majorly intense program for couples in dire distress. My ex would have no part of it.
Even Dr. Phil on his web site and in his book, "Relationship Rescue" advises strongly that before you pack it in you sould read every book, take every course, leave no stone unturned. Basically you need to prove to yourselves beyond the shadow of a doubt that it will not work. And even so, if you cannot leave the R without bitterness or resentment, then you still have unfinished business. Powerful advice. FEw have the courage to follow that through.
I am sure Michelle W-D would concur. It is just too doggone easy to walk away under the entitlement exception.
I know mine did. She was entitled to happiness and me and our marriage were in her mind the reasons she was not. It is now up to her to find happiness which it does not appear that she has yet. But whatever.... that is her journey.
