I posted under STBXW Fantasy. A brief background. Married 17yrs 3 Children S13, S15 and S16, 8 months ago STBXW started acting distant and after a minor argument about S15 behaviour at school, she took off her wedding ring and said she did not want the marriage, The weeks, months that followed, STBXW was like a yoyo, initiated intimacy 5 times and within 2 to 3 days would say this complicates things, let’s stop it. I became exasperated with her behaviour and put house on the market, made an appointment to see a lawyer. She then approached me and asked me to stop divorce and house sale, but within 5 days started talking about divorce again. I started the divorce in January and the house has been on the market since. I later found out that she was visiting an Iranian prisoner due to be deported back to Iran. A previous heroine addict, 10 yrs younger, with girlfriend and a baby. She became emotionally attached to him and got him lawyers to get him out on bail. She succeeded, he’s been out for a couple of months. She moved out and is currently seeing him when the boys stay with me. She denied it of course but has recently admitted it to me and to the boys. She told me she is in love with him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted him to move in with her, but the boys have threatened to leave her. She blames me for this and said that I poisoned the boys mind. The boys are distraught but she is not perturbed by this in the least. She wants us to remain friends, go out as a family and together so the boys think that we do get on. I do not want to spend any time in her presence. I asked her if this guy was worth the distress to her and the children ( the children keep reminding her that what she is doing is wrong and that she is not acting like a good mother should). Whenever this happens she gets on the phone to me to complain, and blame me some more. She will not give up OM. It seems like a powerful addiction! She is in debt, probably as a result of supporting penniless OM.
Two of the boys (S13 and S15) don’t want to stay with her. S16 is probably the most hurt by this but has withdrawn.
I am thinking of going to family therapy with the boys. I don’t think she will be interested in any form of therapy so I won’t even ask her.
