Finances. And believe me, I'm not taking advantage of him. I always made more than my share of the money. If we live together, we can both live comfortably. If we divorce, neither of us will do well. We both worked hard to be able to retire early. If our house ever sells we will be done with working full time. Or HAVING to work.
And you are right. Now it is all about ME. For the last 3+ decades it was all about him. My needs never even entered the picture. Time for the tide to turn.
You may be right about sleeping with someone else damaging my marriage. But good, bad, or otherwise, it would be a catalyst for some kind of change. Anything would be preferable to this purgatory. I've made it quite clear to him that he is the one I want but I'm done waiting. Do the deed or get out of the way!
True, I am harsh and mean. I was nice, kind, loving, and accomodating for decades and that didn't work. I have no guilt. I tried harder and longer than most people would have. More than what was even reasonable.
