I agree with Kalni, the way you describe your life with your W to us here, it seems very samey..very entrenched, you are stuck in patterns of behaviour (she is) toward one another...
Well done for approaching the dragons lair! (sitting with her on the couch to watch TV)... you shouldnt have to creep around your own house in separate parts to her, shes watching TV, so your in the kitchen, she goes to her room, so you go on the PC etc...
Why not do what you want in whatever room, regardless of her? Its like there are unspoken rules between you. Things dont change unless you change something...
You say you often "put up the dinner" - does that mean serve up? Could you say you will take over the cooking some nights, or take turns? Would she not let you, is the kitchen/cooking "her" domain? Sounds like she is busy if she is spending evenings doing homework, so despite you working full-time, maybe you should share the cooking with her? Ditto for shopping for food and doing laundry. In fact, can you split the chores 50/50 or 60/40 if shes not quite as busy as you? Maybe your M has become set in patterns becuase she was raising 4 boys and running the home, but shes working and doing college now...
If you end up splitting up (I hope not) you will be doing ALL your own cooking and washing and cleaning every night of the week, despite working full-time, so you may as well start doing 50% now!!? It may alter her attitude?
Sounds like she is a wall of resentments Jeff.
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
