Confused no longer - Give me the strength

[Snow White]

Hi just texted me again asking that I not take D to the mall tomorrow as he "has a really bad feeling"

Should I respect that he does not want me to take her out of the country to meet a stranger that I met on the internet?

Or should I tell him that he gave up his right to decide what I do when he left?

Either way I am still going.

[kat727]

So strage to think of the US as another country. Have you taken her to NY before? Personally, I don't see a problem with it. I have always been the adventurous type and you are going to be around alot of people.
And yes, he did give up his rights to question you all the time when he left. You go girl.
kat

[Snow White]

I go over all the time, and I take D with me.

He of course has never been on this site so likens it to a chat room and thinks that I am being niave.

I told him I invited her cause I noticed in her signature block she was a Bills fan(how can you go wrong!) so I figured she was from around here.

I actually just phoned my mom and asked her to watch D. Although I have yet to file the separation papers it does mention in them that you need the permission of the opposite parent to take the child out of the country. I guess his concern is valid given his ignorance of the situation so I told him I would be going alone. He thanked me.

[kat727]

It truely is sad how much their lives (our childrens) have to change because one parent want out. I hadn't thought about permission to go across the border. Well better safe than sorry I guess.
I know you are going to have fun. I would love to live closer to some of you. Pretty much just hanging out in the middle of the USA.
kat

[Snow White]

Good day all. Just got back from my trip to the mall to meet up with lovely Barbara66, she was very nice and nothing like the internet predator waiting to kill me H was concerned about. On the positive side, it was nice to leave my D at home and just have grown up talk so I'm glad H insisted on it.

I went out with my girlfriend last night, for a few hours. Once again pursued by H while I am out, mostly negative comments, designed to get a response or some sort of validation. I did repsond but left long spaces in between which is growth for me from the first time I went out and texted back and forth about 60 times each.

I did not respond to the first text I rec'd asking what I was wearing to pick up guys, so the second one about a half hour later said, that I always had a problem with him not responding to me when he was out(which he never did, and we aren't talking 20 min) and now that is how I act. I had D picked up and was on my way home by 10:30. H had asked me to call his cell when I got home on the way home in the car I phoned, he texted me to say that he would talk to me in the morning, he was too angry right now and he might say something he regretted??? At me??

H had to work at 8 today, when I woke up at 8:30 there were 4 texts on my phone, one asking if I had a hangover at 7:15(from 2 drinks in 4 hours?), then a few minutes later saying I missed out by sleeping in because he was going to buy coffee, then saying I see that you didn't put any air in your tire like I told you to(obviously doing a drive by) and the last send me a photo so I can put your picture on a milk carton after you leave to meet the person off the internet....

I am not sure he has read any info on detatching....

I went to the mall and had a nice chat and a nice lunch and picked up my mother's day gifts. H is starting his excuses for why he should skip mother;s day brunch tomorrow. I was shocked when he originally acted like he was coming, I did not invite just said it was happening, he assumed he was invited. Today he said he is not sure if he is going does not want to see my parents. I responded, if you really do intend for us to stay together you will have to see them at some point.

[Snow White]

After getting off work H went shopping to buy me a monther's day gift. Earlier in the week he said he might take D to the dollar store to pick something out since he has no $.

There was about $130 in room on his credit card - I only pay a certain amount on it each month that he uses for gas because otherwise he would just run it up, he also has a set amount of "spending money" every 2 weeks and the rest of our money is in a separate account. After shopping there was $25.

After his shopping he started texting again, little jabs about must be nice how I go out 4 times a week and he can't afford to go anywhere.

I mentioned I was out once.

He said, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and this afternoon.

I responded.

Tuesday - we went to the movies together
Thursday - I took D to gym this is not going out - you went to a golf meeting at the bar
Friday - yes I went out to dinner and drinks with my friend
Today - went mother's day shopping, and look so did you! We went out the same~

Back again, you bought yourself things, I can't afford to buy myself things. Explained I spent a gift certificate from my birthday in October and an additional 84 cents, plus the gifts for our moms - his too. Still says but you got yourself clothes I have never gone shopping for clothes.

Really feeling bad for himself. Or - needs another reason to complain that I am doing things, first it was no drinking and driving, then the internet predator, now its $.


He then stopped in with my gift in a gift bag and stayed for about an hour(he is coming tomorrow morning, not sure why he brought it tonight).

At one point I mentioned something about the car dealership in town closing and he said when he went down there to look at used cars they were all gone. We have 2 leased vehicles. It was discussed if we separated that he would have to either have one transferred to hs name, or get a loan to buy it, neither of which he can afford if he had to live on his salary alone. So if he does not want to be separated why is he looking at used cars??? But he gave up the info pretty easy, playing games?

[Starshyne]

I wouldn't respond to his little jabs on the messages anymore. He seems to get enjoyment out of them. Maybe if you just ignored them, then he would stop sending them?

[Snow White]

When I am out if ignore them he gets real uptight. When I am at home I have done that. Then when I found out he was texting his old OW from work("just his friend") and I questioned it he said you never reply when I text you. I am certain he is not sending her pain in the ass texts though.

[Snow White]

Where is everybody - Hello out there!!!

[kat727]

Sorry, it took me a while to realize that you had changed your name on here. I am glad you got to meet and had a good time that is certainly the way to GAL.
I need to take my own advice sometime. Have a wonderful Mother's Day.
kat