I am so sorry that you had to go through that. For me reading your story is like Deja Vu. I've been there, done that. I think what you said to your husband was the only thing you could have said. They act like children and they put us in the role of the parents. I accepted the fact that this was an illness when I realized that it would be onething for my H to walkout on me but when they sacrifice their kids, there is something very wrong with them.
I wanted to clear something up. I wasn't trying to tell you how to handle your husband or your sitch. My post and the suggestion of the LRT was for you. He's out there doing whatever it is that he's doing, so all you can really do is to try to find some happiness for yourself. Funny that I should put it that way because there isn't all that much happiness to be had while we're going through this and trying to decypher what they tell us. For me LRT gave me my life back. Thing is it doesn't have to be an ultimatum. It can be as much as telling ourself that I'm not going to let him hold me emotionally hostage anymore with having 1 foot in 1 life and 1 foot in the other. You can still be kind but at the sametime letting him see that the world isn't going to stop and wait for him to do the right thing. I never did tell my ex that. I just made up my mind. I kind of assumed this mantra and I would repeat it whenever I would start to get scared again and worry about what he was doing. I would repeat to myself over and over again, "He moved out and you have no control over what he does." It might sound silly but for me it worked. It allowed me to concentrate more on the things that I could control and that was me. Leaving ex to fix himself was like a weight that had been lifted from my shoulders freeing me up to once again really live and find happiness once again. I don't mean to say that it was easy, but eventually it does get EASIER and life becomes more normal.
The other thing I know without a doubt is that we're ready when we're ready. It really doesn't matter what anyone else says, they don't have to live your life. Most times people who love us feel they know what's best for us, and I do appreciate that, but they don't have to walk in your shoes.
So with all that being said, I wish you the best and I'll keep you in my prayers. Afterall, I'm a Steelers fan as well, and lord knows we have to stick together!
