If I had asked, she would have started with something like, "You don't know? Look around! The house is a pigsty! (It isn't, really. It looks like people live in it.) The yard is a mess. (OK, it could be better.) etc. etc." There is a script. I've heard it and asking her would have been pointless, and would have taken time away from her studying, which would have also been my fault. I know I am assuming, but it isn't like I haven't been down that road before. In my mind it is a cheeseless tunnel. I did put up dinner, and clean up the kitchen and start the dishwasher.
I asked if she needed anything. Not surprisingly, she said no. But I am going to keep asking.
The C today said a few interesting things. I wish I was taking notes. About me, she thought that giving up the Coke for a month was an accomplishment! One that struck me was that often people around controlling people become passive-aggressive in response/defense. I don't think that I had even mentioned that W often says that I am passive-aggressive. The C seemed to think that the passive-aggressive behavior is a response to W's controlling behavior. She also said that I should focus on the things I can control, me! Imagine that! She thought the thing where W and S18 discovered me doing the yoga DVD might have been a good thing, I agree with that. She also said the people who had a lot of responsibility early (W did) often treat their spouses as children (she does). At least from what the C hears from me, and I try to be as honest as I can, W could really use some therapy! W claims to do a lot of self examination, but I think she stops at the parts that really would help. C said that some people have to be right, rather than happy, I said that's W. No solutions, really, except work on me, but I came away feeling like I'm not nearly as much of the problem as I have been made to feel. Also, I think, maybe, possibly, the ADs are starting to kick in. Maybe. It's too early to say for sure, but.....
Oh, and the scale today suggests that I have actually lost 2 pounds in the past couple of weeks. W moved the scale into the bathroom that she uses this week. I don't think she knew I was using it most days. So, I got a new one today. On Mother's Day I will put the new stylish one in the bathroom she uses, and return the old ratty one to the bathroom I use. I also saw some really good looking chocolate covered strawberries at Costco, I will ask the kids if they want to get those for her for Mother's Day.
