Quack Quack...

[stella_k]

Hey Jen!

I beleive that the key is to build loving and trusting Adult-Child R, just like in "real life". You should let your inner child to experiment and grow and your inner Adult to be understanding and forgiving.

Great job on the bill sitch, btw.

(((hugs)))

PS. What did you give your D for her tooth? My D believed in a Tooth Fairy until she was 8 or may be even 9!

[JenInVen]

Hi Stella. Good point!

She believes in the Tooth Fairy. Here in Venezuela the kids call it Raton Perez (it's a rat!!!) She told me this morning that the Tooth Fairy was for girls and Raton Perez was for boys. We always buy a toy since we feel that 6 is too young to be given money. This time I got her a stuffed unicorn.

Jen

[JenInVen]

Hi all!

We had to go to Ds school today for a swim competition (just her grade). It was to begin at 10am so I thought I'd head out around 9:30am. I was thinking of planning it with H but then I thought "let him call me". I was getting ready to go and he sent a TM "do you want to go together or should we meet there?" So, we went together. Had a nice time. D got a gold and a silver and was excited to say the least!

Trying to detach. I guess I have to remember the quote from Star wars "do or do not there is no try" And just detach already. No phone calls from me today and hopefully for some time to come. I hope I don't break like I did last time.

Jen

[cw68]

((jen)) Keep it up!

[addie]

Again, your D did awesome with her swim competition!!! You are also doing awesome lately. You didn't contact H and he ended up contacting you instead. Great work!!!

[JenInVen]

Thanks Addie and CW!

I spoke to him briefly today about something work related (he called me). I made a small booboo about a CD for a student and he got upset and was being rude so I told him not to yell at me. Then I hung up on him. I certianly wasn't going to sit there and let him act that way. I never called him back but he didn't call me back either. F it

Jen

[JenInVen]

I'm really pi$$ed off. Whenever I need H to look after D he has "plans" His idea of helping me is to drop her off at his parents house and then he can continue with his plans. He spends Sundays with her and that's it. He tells me he regrets not spending time with her and then when given the chance he bails out. Try as I do he doesn't "get it". I told him we should work something out with D in terms of child crae. He then turns around and makes it as if I don't want her with me. I told him people who are separated have these sorts of agreements. He told me that's my opnion and I'm wrong.

I'm thinking I should get this part legalized. He thinks that I'm trying to control him and telling him when he should spend time with D is controlling. I just want an agreement that covers the weekends. Why should he get to do whatever he wants and not play dad. He's a good dad but I wish he'd support me a bit more here.

I guess I'm asking for too much. I'm a wreck. Been crying since I spoke to him an hour ago. I hate this.

Jen

[JenInVen]

I know he thinks I'm crazy. He has this habit of talking to me so that I look at fault or what I'm saying isn't justified.

I am NOT wrong here. All I want is him to sacrifice a little.

I find it had to even imagine that he might one day come home. I think he really wants to find someone else.

Dark is the only way. I'll solve whatever I need to about D by myself. I don't need him.

Jen

[cw68]

Go to a L and a T and get their suggestions in writing to your H.

[addie]

If you want H to have D for a certain amount of time i.e every other weekend, then you should see a L about that and have it in the D agreement.
Have you tried asking H a few days in advance to take D before he makes plans? If H does take D and then drops her off at his parents there's really not much you can do. I would feel the same way but it's between H and his parents to work that out.
My H has not spent a single "full" day with S11 since our S. He's spent a couple of hours here and there with him. Really, they're the ones who will eventually regret it when they realize all the lost time they could have been spending with their child.