I have been in a funk the past few days(both because of H and work), so I have just kind of kept to myself and stayed away from the boards.
Tuesday night I texted H. Me: "Have you thought anymore about our living arrangements?" (He was the one that initially brought it up so I just wanted to let him know I was thinking about it.) H: "Not since the other day when we talked about it." Me: "Well, can we talk about it?" H: "Sure, we can talk about it. Me: "When?" H: "Well, I am meeting some frinds tonight but don't plan on staying too late. Maybe when I get home if it's not too late? Me: "Just call me" H: "ok"
Well, he never called...until today. He just called me at work and said ...."uh, any idea when we are going to get that stimulus check?" I told him it was just deposited today. We had already talked about this and he had said that I should keep it all since I have paid 2 months of his rent and 3 car payments...not to mention paying for the house by myself. Anyway, the way he was talking...seemed he was assuming I was giving him half. He said "I can pay off my credit card and that will be one bill gone" Ummm...no, if it goes on any credit card it will go on the JOINT one that I am paying by myself, not the one that he and OW maxed out!
So basically he hasn't called me all week...until he wanted something. Then he is energetic and just as nice as he can be.
I am just back in that state of mind that I don't think I can do this. He isn't willing to do what I need. Yes, he was good there for a couple of weeks....but I need more than a couple of weeks. I really am thinking I am done. Even if he still says he wants to work on it I think I am done.
On another note, I went to the Dr. today for my annual female checkup. About five years ago I had surgery for a rare condition I have. I am not going to try to explain it because I don't understand it all myself. There is nothing dangerous about it, just something that was just uncomfortable so I had repaired, and I thought it was done.
Everytime I go to the dr. they are fascinated, I guess because it is rare. This is a new dr. today since I just moved. Well, after he examines me he asked if anyone has ever really explained it to me, I said sort of, but i never really understood. Well, he comes back with textbooks to explain this to me. He is showing me pictures. He said IF I ever get pregnate then it will be a very difficult pregnancy and I almost certainly wouldn't be able to carry the baby to term and I would need to be monitored very closely (I have been told this before, without the IF part). So I said "Do you think I would have difficulty getting pregnant?" He said "I can't know for sure until we do some x-rays,....then he flipped the book to the front and said "but there is a reason that your condition is in the infertility book."
He said, there is more to it though. He said my kidneys could be affected, and was very surprised that no one had ever mentioned this to me before. He said since I haven't had any problems so far it could be that everything is fine, but I should get everything checked out just to be sure.
Ok, I am sorry for the book. One good thing about my week...it is Friday!
