Will it make it easier on you

[transformer]

Dear M,

WOWEEEE!!! congratulations on your grades that is awesome!!! I want to give you a big hug and then do a somersault of congratulations!!!!

What an evening, graduation rehearsal, aikido, & meeting with the alien??? I can't wait to hear how it goes!

((((M))))
T
p.s. one day-- you make me laugh! yes, bed is for sleeping, visits from snakes, visits from battery operated snakes!!

p.p.s. kalni--here our gpa scale is 0-4, NOT 1-10!!!!

[cw68]

Good job with your grades Michelle! Sorry to hear of your Grandpa's passing. My bro-in-law's Dad passed yesterday and I am sad; I've known him since I was 12. Unfortunately I cannot make it back to Central Illinois for the services. You're in my thoughts.

[MichelleLT]

((((((everyone)))))))

Graduation rehearsal was boring, aikido was good except I chipped some paint on my new pedicure lol (I guess I'll have to touch it up myself before graduation tomorrow haha). H was cooperative about signing papers, I picked up burritos on the way over and we ate together. He signed stuff. Then asked if I wanted to walk to the movie place so he could exchange movies. Ended up watching Shoot 'Em Up with him - it was pretty hysterical is was sooooooo unrealistic. I joked it should have been in the comedy section, but it was a great action movie. We laughed over it a lot and he was actually quite chatty. I left after the movie, but still got home a bit late, so I think I need coffee this AM lol. It was a nice, chatty, friendly evening. Nothing more, but I don't think anything less - he wasn't acting annoyed that I needed to see him or anything, and he didn't have to ask me to go for a walk with him (I was just going to leave) let alone stay for a movie.

We shall see I suppose.

No date for my grandfather's funeral as of yet. They expect him to die in the next couple days, so probably next weekend.

Thanks for all the hugs. I really appreciate them.

[jon2911]

I think his family's reaction says a lot. MIL is coming to your graduation? Wow.

Sounds like a great evening, good job. I can't imagine PTSD and all that combat stress, plus coming back to civilian and student life.

Of course, no one else understands my wife's migraines and how much they've ruined our life besides me. Her family is getting there slowly. Maybe that's why we try so hard when everyone tells us not to. Hang in there Michelle!

[MichelleLT]

It's easier when they don't have to live with it.But I remember the H I met and M. I think spouses of a MLCer also understand - at least the alien part of it.

My friends and family don't understand, even though a lot of them have been supportive.

S.T. posted this on her thread and I wanted to put it on mine for me to read and reread. I think I may tape it to my forehead as well lol.

This is something I found online, and it has some of the same info that I got from "For Women Only" that EVERY woman should read btw.


Studying the opposite sex is a life-long process. And intentionally connecting with the man in your life takes hard work. If you consistently avoid the following six No-No’s, you will engage his heart and solidify your relationship:

1. Never nag. There are better ways to address problems in your relationship such as a direct, face-to-face dialogue about what is bothering you. If that fails, seek outside help. But don’t nag. Nagging is jeerleading, not cheerleading, and it never improves a man. It only hurts him. One of the worst things a man can experience is looking daily into the “mirror” he loves and seeing his faults and shortcomings relentlessly being played back to him.

In my pastoral experience I’ve found that many unhappy marriages are actually pretty good overall. The problem is, husbands and wives tend to get locked in on each other’s negatives. They lose sight of all the positive things about their significant other. As someone once told me, “You can blot out the sun with your thumb if you bring it close enough to your eye.” You can also blot out a good marriage if you focus only on the things your husband is not. For this reason Scripture encourages women not to nag (Prov. 21:9, 19).

2. Never embarrass your man in public. Proverbs 12:4 say, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.” Nothing can anger a man more than being criticized by his wife or girlfriend in front of his peers. Even something as simple as rolling your eyes to mock his words or behavior before others can devastate him. The reason? It shouts, “This guy doesn’t have it together.” He may not react visibly to this sort of thing in the moment, but inside he begins to harbor secret anger against you for this public shaming. And that anger will often come out later in a different time and context.

3. Never stop cheering for your man, even when he has flaws. There’s no perfect man or perfect marriage. Don’t fall into the trap of idealizing other couples and their outwardly perfect marriages. Still, many women embrace marriage perfection in their minds. This mirage unnecessarily undercuts and stokes dissatisfaction in their own marriages.

I’ve seen many women struggle to accurately gauge the health of their marriage. Most are more pessimistic than they should be, dwelling on the 5 percent that’s out of whack, to the exclusion of the 95 percent that’s on track. Everyone else thinks, What a great guy her husband is! because he’s doing so many things well. He’s responsible, kind, truthful, and helpful but she’s lost sight of her great guy because she’s locked in on the small percentage of things he’s not doing well: “He doesn’t talk to me enough. He’s not a strong, spiritual leader in our home.” Resist this negative approach. Don’t dwell on a few shortcomings. Cheer the good stuff and entrust the rest to God.

4. Never treat sex in marriage casually. It’s crucial to your husband. Crucial! Remember, good sex for a man is not only what it means for him but also what it means for you. Stay creative. Surprise him from time to time. Books are available to help you in this. Stay attractive. Tell him what he’s doing right and how good he makes you feel. Good sex is life-giving to a husband.

5. Never assume his job is not your business. A man wants to marry a woman who will nourish his life vision. You should have a good hands-on knowledge of what your husband does and appreciate the pressures he faces. Interact with him when he needs to talk about his work. Problem solve with him when you can. Pray for him and let him know it. Be his career partner.

6. Never fall more in love with your kids than with your husband. That’s easy to do as the years go by. I call it “the great swap.” You get caught up in all the things the kids are doing, often seeing more of them than you do your husband. What you don’t notice is the growing distance developing between you and the man you vowed years ago to give your life to.

Then comes the day when the house is empty of children. They’re gone. But so is the closeness between you and your husband. You’re alone with a stranger. Don’t let that happen. Keep developing new ways to enjoy each other even while the kids are home. Take regular getaways without the children throughout your marriage to renew and refresh your relationship. Keep finding new ways to connect and enjoy life together. And when that day comes when the last kid moves out, you’ll be able to turn to your husband and say, “At last! Let the good times roll!”

Excerpted from The New Eve by Robert Lewis with Jeremy Howard, © 2008 by Robert M. Lewis. This material is used by permission of B&H Publishing Group.

Robert Lewis is the founder of Men's Fraternity and pastor-at-large for Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock, Ark. Robert and his wife, Sherard, have four children.

Jeremy Howard is a writer and editor with a Ph.D. in Christian Apologetics and Worldview Studies from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He lives with his wife and children in Nashville, Tenn.

[Firekeeper]

i send the excerpt to a friend and that was her reply:

"I would change every "woman" word to "man" Why do they always assume,
it's woman who ruin marriages? Man do all those things mentioned in
article even more than we do: they concentrate on flaws, they nag,
they criticize their wives in public and privately. And when it comes
to cheering us? Forget that! When was the last time your husband
cheered you? And told you that he is praying for you?
This article is typical for self observed, selfish man-kind.
So pleeesee...."

[MichelleLT]

While I see her point, it was written for women. I have seen similar articles for men.

However, I AM a woman, so it applies to me. *shrugs*

I will aceept my faults. I also expect my H to do the same however. Apparently that's a LOT to ask lol.

[klm]

Hey Michelle,

I have been MIA for a couple of days. Sorry to hear about your grandfather.

Good job on the grades!!! I am sure you can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

[MichelleLT]

Thanks Kris

I bought my book for my class that starts Monday. Also took care of financial stuff - had the school charge $3400 and some change to my credit card, now I need to transfer the money from savings and pay it off. *headdesk* This will be my last final of law school...ever!

I think I may head to the Whole Earth Festival tonight after work. I really want to go and the rest of my weekend will be busy. I should fit in great since I didn't shower this AM before work. I think I'm going to invite H to join me since I know he's probably going to go anyway.

[One Day]

Hey Michelle,

Just stopping by to day I hope you're having a FAB Friday.

((((hugs))))

L.xx