And so it begins....

[one_light]

The stbx called yesterday afternoon to pick a fight. Or at least try to. We had agreed that I was to come over to the… ahem… her… house so that I could go through photographs and select some from which copies would be made and subsequently returned. She must have had something going on that she would rather do instead because she was loaded for bear when she called.

This woman knows me and knows how to push my buttons. She immediately started making incendiary statements and accusations and put me in a position where I could either confirm said accusations or defend myself. Upon defending my self she does the same old song and dance. Twisting words around, accusing me of saying things I clearly did not say, basic “straw man” stuff. She talks to me as if I were some 3rd party who was not present for the original conversation even as I participate in it. During our marriage, this would evoke from me anger, shouting, and all manner of vicious and nasty verbiage. This would then give her the moral high ground and absolve her of any accountability.

Gladly, I would not be sucked into an argument. In fact, during my recent former life as a Dber I would have congratulated myself on a strong 180. [yea me] Despite my calm demeanor and soothing tone and “I don’t want to fight with you” over and over, she was determined to reach her goal. The goal, of course, was so she could indignantly announce that I was not welcome to come over to the house to look through photos. I say OK, I respect your wishes and that is that.

Ironically, it almost makes me feel better when things like this happen. It’s when she is being nice and sweet that it tears me up inside. I look forward to the day when my own emotional state is not dictated by however I perceive her to be feeling toward me at a given moment. I fear that I may be a long way from there.