Jeff- I've never heard that poem/song. I'm a sucker for music. It gets me right to the heart.
I have to keep reminding myself that, like you said, at least I get the chance to make it work when others I see don't even get that chance.
I do feel forgiven by God. It will be harder to forgive myself I think.
h4h- you are right, I think too much and get myself all worked up. It is a good thing in that if I didn't think about stuff I would have left the marriage.....if I had gone with what I thought my "heart" was saying, I would have left a long time ago. You are also right that he is probably over me. That's what is so ridiculous, I know that and I still feel bad....it's like I want to fix it if that makes any sense. It's hard to not fix it.
Ok, after saying all that, let me say that today I feel pretty strong. I don't have the same hurt over OM that I had at the beginning so I am believing that I will eventually get over this. I had my doubts. I think I will always be reminded and it will always make me sad...but, the hurt will be different. I really had to hold myself back like crazy to not contact him before. It is not like that anymore. God help me if I run into him, though.
On to making my marriage the happiest one in the world! Today, what can I do to show love to my H?....something different.....I make him dinner, his favorites...he is used to that......hmmmm.....I think he is going to be getting my MOther's Day gift so we won't have a ton of time........I'm going to get him some beer.....he loves it, the good kind.....I'll surprise him with that. Also, when he comes in the door when he comes home I am going to go to him and give him a big hug. He has been the one coming to me. One day at a time. Little things make a big difference. Show loving feelings and the true feelings will follow.
