Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

Before we separated, I needed my H to really try to improve our R, I needed him to look at us fairly annd completely and do all sorts of things BEFORE we separated. H needed to separated in order to do those things. We were at opposite ends.

That makes sense in my situation too. In fact, the best time we've had recently was yesterday morning, when he was all relieved that I called a L. Later, he was upset to learn the guy is a litigator. I told him I am just gathering info at this point and that I'm not intending to rake him over the coals.

I've accepted that he is leaving, as best I can. He's the one who has to make it happen though. He's talking about moving in June, but he hasn't begun to look at apts, nor does he have beds for himself and the girls. He is on jury duty today which means he will not get paid, as he is a freelancer at the moment.

For us, the financial realities are huge here and H is just dismissing all of that, which drives me crazy. When he dropped the bomb, we agreed to see a MC and he insisted we find someone in our healthplan, which we did (we got very lucky.) Now, when his benefits from his old job are about to end (in June), when d11 needs braces, when we are thousands of dollars in debt for assorted reasons, he is suddenly ready to pay rent on an apt, pay for consults with lawyers, etc.

I know that he truly feels he MUST go, no matter the financials. So I am letting him, but I can't pretend that the money aspect does not make me extremely anxious.