I've only read through this thread, so I can't say that I'm an expert on your situation. A couple things jump out at me though in your interactions with your H.
Quote:
Well, the invitation arrived and I asked him if he still wanted me to go. He said "sure, that's fine, if you want to..." My response was gentle, but true, that it sounded like such a lukewarm invitation from him, that it did not sound like much fun for me to go to all the trouble to tag along
While I can understand your reluctance to spend that much time in the car with him, your response seems like you were searching for more concrete invitation. I don't know your H, so maybe he usually is more enthusiastic when he asks you to do something or is he pretty nonchalant most of the time? For his perspective you could be rejecting him when he sees this as working on things. Just a thought, but maybe you could talk to him about what his thoughts for the weekend were.
When I look back at what brought my W and I together again, several factors came into play. First, she realized that she wanted to come back (it seems your H probably does at some level too) but she couldn't see a path to reconciliation. This was a big step for her because she had to let go of a lot things from the past. I know it wasn't easy for her. Second, I had to let go of my hurt and show her the unconditional love that I felt in my heart. She told me many times that just didn't see how things could work for us again or that she didn't see how I could still love her. Your H probably doesn't say those same things, but he may say something similar from time to time. Use those as building moments. Let your love for him show through in those moments.
I don't know if you'll find any of this helpful or not, but you seem to be at the same place I was at one point. I know what worked for me, so I thought that I would share. I hope you have a beautiful day.
Peace, B
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
